My first Valentines was a box of roses chocolates, hidden in the desk of my Year 6 classroom. I have to say that although I had no feelings to reciprocate to the lovely boy that left them there. I felt like a princess. Maybe it was the surprise of it all or that feeling that someone thought I was special enough to actually bother to buy me chocolates and wait to see my reaction.
My husband and I have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. Pretty early on in our relationship we both agreed that it was a commercial holiday and the instead we would celebrate our own relationship anniversaries. but every year without fail I bring it up with him just to make sure we still aren’t celebrating it, so that I don’t wake up to the horror that he’s got me something and I have nothing…this will never happen however, I did the routine check tonight:
Me: Hey, are we doing Valentines Day cards this year?
It’s weird though, every year the day comes around and everyone around me receives cards, flowers and dinner plans, and I don’t get anything. There’s a real sense of missing out. There’s a notion that it feels as though society judges the success of my relationship based on what is received on, or planned for the 14th February. Multiple times on said day, my well-meaning colleagues, friends and families ask what I got and I respond with ‘oh we don’t celebrate Valentine’s day” to which I’m met with “oh’s…” and petty smiles. That being said there’s more to it than that for me…
I’m so conflicted with the day as a whole. The restaurants are overbooked, people spend unnecessary money on gifts trying to materialise their love and there are so many gushy posts that make my stomach squirm that I shut off from socials and hide away. But at the same time part of me just wants to wake up and be surprised with a Valentine’s Day gift. Nothing major chocolates and a card would suit me fine, that or a sleep-in and a hot coffee…someone to watch the kids for the day, a pedicure and a back massage.
I want that feeling I got back when I received my first valentine. On a day when I expected nothing a small gesture made me feel special. Call me spoilt but as a mum of two small humans a moment of feeling spoilt is rare.
I’m thinking the closest I’ll get to this valentine’s is to take myself out for cupcakes, and tag my husband in multiple competitions to win Valentines day treats and hope he gets a hint. Before you jump on me for not openly communicating that I actually want a gift, I have considered this. You see I want the surprise of it. I don’t want to receive something because I asked him to go and get something for me. I dream of the unexpected moment, the chocolate and fingers crossed the sleep in!
Happy Valentines Day Mumma’s
Mumma Z xxx