Before kids I was self conscious about my body. As a 5ft1 B cup female with PCOS any fluctuation in weight was so obvious on my body, especially since I store all my body weight on my belly. No matter how much I ate healthily, drank water and exercised everyday the belly pouch existed. So naturally when I was in the early stages of pregnancy it was so obvious, no amount of baggy clothing and layers could hide it. So many people commented that my body suited pregnancy- lol that’s because it has always been 8-12 weeks pregnant in shape its entire life.
For many reasons including planning to fall pregnant, I tried to eat low carb and sugar free. My weight was always up and down but it averaged somewhere between 54-57kg.
When I did get pregnant for the first time I lived on carbs, I craved them, dreamt of them and ate them as many times a day as possible. They also stopped me from feeling sick which was awesome. I put on 13kg overall and gave birth to a healthy 4kg baby boy.
My postpartum body was beautiful. Stretched, curvy and rounded off with a post baby bump. the baby weight
I’d put on slowly fell off – helped significantly by exclusively breastfeeding.
After the six week all clear I took it slowly, very slowly. Let’s be honest I was so bloody tired that eating healthy and exercising was furthest from my mind. I craved sweet foods, and survived on toasties and coffee from my local drive-thru cafe. it took me a while but I started to notice that the not eating health or exercising was affecting my mood. I mean I’d always know that but sometimes when you’re in the midst of newborn chaos its hard to remember. I started super slow walking on the treadmill every few days whilst watching my fav shows and on days I could not be bothered I do a quick 10 min Youtube blogilates workout. I reduced my sugar intake gradually and just gave myself time to adjust to postpartum life. By about 6 months postpartum I had lost the baby weight and strangely my tummy was flatter than ever! I felt healthy in mind and body and just felt so proud of my body.
Giving up breastfeeding made maintaining my weight really hard though. My PCOS crazy hormones went ballistic and the tummy pouch returned. It was a real kick to my mental health. I thought I’d got the balance right and now had to work harder. I cut back all carbs and sugar and really make sure I made time to exercise my body.
Then had another setback when I developed an umbilical hernia. The surgery and limited exercise combined made me look 12 weeks pregnant again. completely disheartened I enlisted professional help to get me feeling good again. Physio led reformers pilates was incredible- literally a God-send. I had so much fun exercising and it toned my body in a different way than I’d ever experienced before. It was a hourly gift to myself 1-2 times a week and I felt confident that the exercise was healing my tummy and making me stringer than ever before.
I’m now 6 weeks postpartum after my second pregnancy. I started heavier this time around, but still put on the same amount- 13kg and birthed a less chunky 3.6kg baby boy. 6 weeks later though I feel gross. I’ve just got the all clear from the doctor and I’m about to embark on my journey back. Please understand this is not about body shaming, this is about feeling like me again. My body is not bouncing back, I don’t want my probably body I just want to feel good. My body has done an incredible job growing and feeding my two boys I now need to show it some love back.
Every few month I’m going to update you on how I’m showing love to my postpartum body. Be kind to your bodies Mumma’s, trust the process, and take care of yourselves.
Mumma Z xxx